Sacred 2:Silly Messages
As in the first game of the series, Ascaron has implemented a fair number of Silly Messages into Sacred 2. This time there are more of them, and they are funnier than before. In addition there is a new kind of Silly Messages, the poetry lines that combine into short silly poems.
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The silly message is a line of text that appears when the game is loading (or when you press the ~ to open the console) and which changes to display one of a number of semi-random messages that the game designers have chosen. Silly messages have so far referred to such things as quotes from movies, TV shows, and some others which are thought up to be unique messages. The entire list of Silly Messages is currently unknown.
Silly Messages:
1- Even if you're eaten by a dragon, you still have two ways out.
2- I know what you did last summer...
3- Please wait... Loading T-Energy...
4- Positioning GPS satellites... please stand by...
5- The volume goes to eleven!
6- The game will start when it is ready and not before!
7- You are the weakest link, goodbye!
8- Remember Sacred1 bug #4624...
9- Guru meditation...
10- /* You are not expected to understand this */
11- Computer load this, computer load that, never a thank you... Rude gamers!
12- Now that's what I call a dead parrot
13- Loading errors, please wait...
14- Reset your char to level 1. There are too many high-level chars online...
15- Your soundcard sucks, disabling sound forever...
16- Meditating on the meaning of life...
17- Relax, it's only ones and zeros!
18- Planet 'Bob'?! Can't we just call it 'Earth'?
19- No, this is not a silly message.
20- We're not mental or anything, so don't be afraid...
21- Welcome to Sacred2 30-days trial... hehe... Just kidding!
22- I still know what you did last summer...
23- How sweet to be an idiot...
24- I don't have time to bleed!
25- Please stand by for an important announcement.
26- Cut off his head, I need another ashtray... ("The Order of the Stick"?)
27- Your computer is running... You better go chase it.
28- That'll do pig. That'll do.
29- I hate cold ashtrays... ("The Order of the Stick"?)
30- Kiss me, I'm an enchanted cactus!
31- I don't need no teenage queen, I just want my seraphim!
32- Loooooooaaaaading...
33- Searching for adult filter...
34- Help! Your keyboard is stuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...
35- Drawing beards onto your photographs...
36- Did you know that by reading this message you have wasted 5 seconds of your life?
37- Press any key... No! Not that one!
38- The 'No dieing' sign is now on... Please plan accordingly...
39- Do not include <STDHEADER.H>, use <STDHEADER> instead!
40- 97 bottles of beer... Aaah, you know the rest...
41- To the Petercopter!
42- PI is exactly 3!
43- Freedom for wolves, ban the shepherds!
44- Reverting to Sacred1...
45- Refilling wyvern pass water bottle... (Main storyline quest in Sacred 1, bugged and often discussed)
46- Your computer is now an official part of our world domination plan. Thank you!
47- Awaiting starting bribe...
48- So long, and thanks for all the goblins...
49- There's nothing to see here, go ahead...
50- Funny bugreport #13882: Missing effects after stroking down the wand! (Are these actual beta/alpha bugreports?)
51- Evaluation of capabilities indicates a distinct tactical deficiency.
52- I don't care what you did last summer!
53- Ohh... I am loading too slowly? Ok, next time you'll load it yourself!
54- <Singing out of tune>
55- Ere I am J.H.
56- We're against individual mounts! Signed: the horses of Ancaria.
57- Load 'Sacred2',8,1...
58- Searching for available information on dragons - Connecting to Wikipedia...
59- Roses are red, violets are blue, this message could rhyme, but it doesn't...
60- All the doors in Ancaria have been programmed to have a cheery disposition. (From "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", by Douglas Adams.)
61- Warning: Don't try this at home!
62- Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
63- Checking hard disk capacity... Sorry, disk is full!
64- Searching for saved game... Not found. Restaring game...
65- Let's play tic-tac-toe instead, I'll be X...
66- Coffee missing. Insert cup and press any key.
67- Loading sprite #546859467... Please wait...
68- Oh my God!
69- Clicking the mouse will not make the game load faster!
70- Looting your fridge...
71- Cut the strings and fly away...
72- GETRANDOMNUMBER: RETURN 4; // Chosen by fair dice roll, guaranteed to be random (http://www.xkcd.com/221/)
73- Funny bugreport #19910: A dagger is called 'Dirk'. (Are these actual beta/alpha bugreports?)
74- Knowledge is a weapon... I intend to be formidably armed.
75- Cannot translate silly message into english...
76- Downloading new silly messages...
77- Blame Canada!
78- <singing> I can't get no... Bug infection...
79- Press Ctrl + Alt + F4 now for an IQ test.
80- Press any key to continue or other key to quit...
81- Guessing user age... Setting Blood level to Toddler!
82- Is this a sword in your hand? No it's just a carrot...
83- We apologize for the fault in the loading screen. The responsible parties have been sacked.
84- Scanning mail folder... Empty... Not even spam mail!
85- I am a cute computer... Really!
86- When you are leaving, please close the door behind you.
87- There is no gas for the chainsaw!
88- Idea for a messagebox: 'This frame was properly rendered'
89- I wish I had a tent with a behaviour...
90- Equipping armor <Load: Inquisitor_Pink_Bunny_Costume_lvl30>
91- You did not call in sick just to play this game, now did you?
92- Oh, you again?
93- If you're gonna ride, ride in style!
94- Reanimating dead monsters...
95- Canceling your wedding - you're note suited for each other...
96- Wait, your seraphim just broke a fingernail! Call an ambulance!
97- This line intentionally left blank.
98- Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer.
99- The way to the hidden Mordor area is in the seraphim library. (A fake easter egg in Sacred 1)
100- Yellow wizard is about to die.
101- As a Computer I find your faith in Technology.......Amusing.
102- Wrong CD Key...This game will now be locked on this computer for ever.
103- Belial's minions grow stronger.
104- Your computer is your friend....Trust the Computer...
105- Wasting some time...
106- Counting to Infinity......Please wait...
107- Removing your equipment...
108- This is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. Please stay calm and exit the building.
109- Why can't you name a planet 'Bob'?
110- Tuning guitars for Blind Guardian... sh*t, broke a string...
111- Its not a bug but a feature.
112- Don't waste your time looking at the boobs, just hit the frigging monster!
113- Video ram too small, switching to grid display...
114- I'm here to lead, not to bleed!
115- Don't create multiple posting, use the edit button!
116- Only sissy coders need to optimize their code!
117- Life? Don't talk to me about life!
118- Funny bugreport #7753: A highelf who is playing with the ball is needed... (Are these actual beta/alpha bugreports?)
119- Today's special: 2 for 1 at the Dragons' breath in.
120- Press Alt+F4 for secret weapon.
121- War... War never changes...
122- The llama isn't real.
123- If you don't stop staring at this message, I'll stop loading!
124- Loading 3D buffer... Not that one!
125- Character modeling error - Do you mind bearded Seraphims?
126- I've calculated your chance of survival, but I don't think you'll like it.
127- Shuffling main quest parts...
128- No more heroes available. Do you want to play as a monster? (Y/N)
129- Bacon is my favourite vegetable...
130- Funny bugreport #18892: There is a NPC in the furniture! (Are these actual beta/alpha bugreports?)
131- Corrupting random blocks of memory...
132- Loading SPLINES, WTH are SPLINES?
133- Do you really want to start the game? Really? Are you really sure?
134- Press F for fast loading now... Skipped. Proceeding with slow loading...
135- Generating 100 boss monster at starting location...
136- No flash photography allowed in Ancaria!
137- Pausing game until you finish your chores...
138- Gaming is about killing time, not killing people...
139- Ordering pizza online... I hope you like anchovies with pineapple!
140- Entering Zion...
141- Stumbling over cables... *WHAM*... Done.
142- Raytracing sunbeams...
143- Reassembling mobs...
144- Loading more blood and gore...
145- Insert Disc5... Oh, you don't have a Disc5? Ok, filling harddisc with garbage...
146- Wasting energy, please wait...
147- Loading hieroglyph font... Translating all texts into ancient egyptian...
148- Turn around, I'm behind you!
149- No, I don't know where Xardas is. Try somewhere else!
150- Connecting server... Complete. Redirecting character to hardcore PvP arena...
151- Overclocking CPU: 3,0GHz...3,2GHz...3,6GHz... OOPS, I broke your CPU!
152- The Llama is a lie!
153- Funny bugreport #14523: Quest is not finishable! (Are these actual beta/alpha bugreports?)
154- There is a light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
155- Would you like some salt for your easter egg?
156- Please do not feed the dragons!
157- One spatula to flip them all...
158- Back again? Ha, you don't learn, do you?
159- Your hero does not need food, but you do!
160- Access denied - NAH NAH NA NAH NAH!
161- There is no spoon!
162- Chief Justice says 'Sacred2 rulez!'
163- Not now! Can't you see I'm busy? Play something else.
164- We are about to find out if you are a worthy adversary...
165- You won't get this package if you can not ID yoursself!
166- Use the mouse, Luke!
167- DA WEEP GRANNA WEEP NINNY BANG!
168- Would you like to play a game of... world domination?
169- Hail to the king baby...
170- Insert coin to continue...
171- This may take a while, get yourself some coffee...
172- Uplink to ISS estabilished, downloading weather forecast...
173- How can this task be delayed when i haven't even started working on it?
174- Supplying merchants with useless junk...
175- Press play on tape!
176- Where's my wand?
177- If the game does not start in five minutes... wait longer!
178- Randomizing constants...
179- Funny bugreport #22650: No sound while PC is burning! (Are these actual beta/alpha bugreports?)
180- Due to lack of system resourses, entering slide-show mode...
181- Thou shalt not use the equality operator with floats!
182- Scroll down the list and choose your favourite silly message. I'm too lazy.
183- There's something written about a chance but I don't trust this game...
184- Checking mouse driver... Checking mouse's driving license...
185- Removing dead bodies from previous session...
186- Cheater found. Loading bunnies...
187- Generating dead undead... Undead dead... uh...
188- Yuck, your keyboard is dirty!
189- Loading Wicked Witch of the West.
190- Warning...Short circuit detected in your Temple Guardian!
191- Loading level 512 monsters...
192- Gort, Klattu Barada Nikto...
193- Your skill in reading is increased by one point!
194- Recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists!
195- We'll be right back after this commercial break...
196- Don't get eaten by a Grue!
197- Don't wake me up, I'm working.
198- Mary had a little lamb... chop. It was really tasty!
199- Save the Earth... its the only planet with chocolate!
200- Operation failed (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer?
201- The past temps us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us.
202- Do you like scary movies?
203- I wish I had a hammer, a hammer in the morning, a hammer in the evening...
204- A book can also be, a hat...
205- The... no. A... no... wait, sorry, that one sounded better in my head.
Poetry Puzzle
Poetry #1: ... There was an Admin named Buck...
Poetry #1: ... Who everyone wanted to chuck...
Poetry #1: ... After getting the sack...
Poetry #1: ... He kept coming back...
Poetry #1: ... His posts were a matter of luck...
Poetry #2: ... There once was a moron named John...
Poetry #2: ... Unable to keep his pants on...
Poetry #2: ... He found a young tart...
Poetry #2: ... Thought he was smart...
Poetry #2: ... His wife found out all, now he's gone.
Poetry #3: ... There was an admin named Chuck...
Poetry #3: ... his posts were a matter of luck...
Poetry #3: ... he didn't mind...
Poetry #3: ... as one of a kind...
Poetry #3: ... He was a really good... schmuck.
Poetry #4: ... By his mother he has been confounded...
Poetry #4: ... from his computer the mod was grounded...
Poetry #4: ... It was nearly as bad as it sounded...
Poetry #4: ... All he could do was gripe...
Poetry #5: ... When he spoke of the amazing creature...
Poetry #5: ... Supposed to make you feel a chill...
Poetry #6: ... One mod became quite a chore...
Poetry #6: ... His grave had a revolving door...
Poetry #6: ... We put him back...
Poetry #6: ... Quoth the raven, nevermore.
Poetry #7: ... It's something you already knew...
Poetry #7: ... certainly nothing you can do...
Poetry #7: ... a patch arrives when it's meant to...
Poetry #7: ... Ignore the date...
Poetry #8: ... It's not a sin...
Poetry #8: ... To say with a grin...
Poetry #8: ... Often you feel under the gun...
Poetry #8: ... It'll be released when it's done.
Poetry #9: ... When asked why do we wait...
Poetry #9: ... You answer it's not that late...
Poetry #9: ... You may make think yourself clever..
Poetry #9: ... You'll get it before Duke Nukem Forever!
Poetry #10: ... There once was a knight from Ancaria...
Poetry #10: ... That poor little knight from Ancaria...
Poetry #10: ... E'en with all his might...
Poetry #11: ... There once was a dragon of ice...
Poetry #11: ... he was cool, but not very nice...
Poetry #11: ... Ghosts, goblins and things flying...
Poetry #11: ... And the lag there would make you think twice.
Poetry #12: ... There once was player in hardcore...
Poetry #12: ... And alas, his poor toon, it was no more...
Poetry #12: ... Could not play, though he tried...
Poetry #12: ... Until when he died...
Poetry #13: ... Who bathed in the town's only well...
Poetry #13: ... He'd bathe every night...
Poetry #13: ... After done with his fights...
Poetry #13: ... tis why the water there doesn't taste swell.
Poetry #14: ... There once was a zombie from Mascarel...
Poetry #14: ... He saw a knight bathing in the town's well...
Poetry #14: ... He laughed at the sight...
Poetry #14: ... And whispered to the knight...
Poetry #14: ... Seems my toilet is your bathtub as well.
Poetry #15: ... There once was a civilized orc...
Poetry #15: ... He ate with a knife and a fork...
Poetry #15: ... He drank from a cup...
Poetry #15: ... With his pinky pointing up...
Poetry #15: ... But his friends thought he was a dork.
Poetry #16: ... A gladiator once lost a bet...
Poetry #16: ... And had to wear the full xrystal's set...
Poetry #16: ... His chest was shaved bare...
Poetry #16: ... Flowers placed in his hair...
Poetry #16: ... Many offers of marriage did he get...
Poetry #17: ... There once was a mage with a staff...
Poetry #17: ... So tiny, it made us all laugh...
Poetry #17: ... To scare monsters away...
Poetry #17: ... And ended up bitten in half.
Poetry #18: ... There once was a knight with a pain...
Poetry #18: ... Who cried out oh no not again...
Poetry #18: ... Four elves and an Orc...
Poetry #18: ... Have trampled all over my brain...
